Day 3 - Uncertainty

      Don't worry, I'm not doubting my beliefs, but my abilities in teaching and finding are definitely being put to the test. Among frustration and rejection from most people we contacted today, I kept thinking to myself 'why is this not working?' It's interesting how trials are so perfectly timed, even if we don't think so at the time. If you think in retrospect of all of the trials you have overcome, you know that they all happened for a reason, and that they made you stronger.

      Here's the story: This morning I was still thinking about the concept of being wholeheartedly willing to serve and letting God use me as an instrument to reach out His children in this area (see yesterday's entry). With that in mind I had a fantastic personal study, and by the time we were leaving the apartment I was so pumped to go talk to everyone.

      Well, the day started great, and we met a lot of great people on our way to the street we had felt could have some potential new investigators. Door after door, excuse after excuse, and after about a five-block span of knocking on doors the morning was done and we were spent. I though 'no big deal. We still have the rest of the afternoon and evening.'

      The afternoon came, and of all of our appointments only one held through... and the guy was drunk. As the day came to an end I felt that I disappointed myself, my companion, and my Heavenly Father. Up until planning i was thinking of the things that i didn't do, and all of the events that added up to this horrible feeling I had of being an unproductive missionary.

    I felt the need to go back to basics and open up the "how do I use my time wisely" section of Preach My Gospel. Admittedly so, I went there purely for technical guidance, but what I found instead brought peace of mind:

"The ultimate measure of success is not in achieving goals alone but in the service you render and the progress of others."

      I'm tired, and I'm getting dangerously close to lights-out time, but I can now go to bed satisfied of another day at work in the Lord's vineyard.

Lesson for the day:
Know that there's urgency in this work, but also understand the BIG picture. Otherwise, you can get exhausted and frustrated very fast.


  1. It is awesome that you kept such a detailed journal! There are so many important and eternal truths we learn in the mission. Even now in my life It is easy to have the thought of failure at the end of the day. Looking back and seeing what I didn't do. But you are so right, as we look at our intent and where our heart is it can make all the difference. Sometimes we forget the little things that we do for others and the service we are giving.

  2. Missionary Photos Wanted for New LDS BOOK!
    Author Mike Winder is working with Deseret Book-owned Covenant Communications on a missionary photo book that will contain inspiring quotes, scriptures, and thoughts to help inspire young people to serve a mission.
    He is looking for amazing missionary photos from around the world. Do you have any favorite pics that evoke emotion (inspiring, humorous, etc.)? Do you have any photos with your companion in front of temples or iconic images (Big Ben, Golden Gate Bridge, Asian pagodas, etc.)? Do you have any showing missionaries in action (service projects, teaching, tracting, baptizing, etc.)? How about funny missionary pics, ones with the Book of Mormon, with food, with kids, or with animals?
    If so, please email a few of your favorite ones to mike@mikewinder.com by July 31. Images must be at least 1MB in size to be published (low resolution images would be too blurry in print).

  3. Hi there Elder...I am a blogger in PA and I just added you to my blog roll. I am going to keep a roll of all of the elders who I can find who are serving and blogging. I am at http://beinglds.blogspot.com. Please pass along any bloggers addresses that you know. Also, keep up the good work. We need you in Pennsylvania. It's good land and God smiles down on the people of Pa...you just have to keep searching!

  4. Great post! Now, your personalized Priesthood Line of Authority is beautifully laminated featuring the classic portrait of Jesus Christ by the renowned artist Greg Olsen.